When people reach middle age, many find themselves trapped in an inexplicable predicament: they have achieved success in their careers and have stable families, but deep down they often feel empty and lost.
The renowned Swiss psychologist Carl Jung had long understood the essence of this "midlife crisis".
He believed that in the first half of life, our main task is to develop the "ego", adapt to the external world, learn social rules, wear the "mask of personality", and strive to become a person recognized by society.
In the second half of life, the core task is to turn inward and embark on a great journey called "individuation".
"Personalization" does not mean pursuing a novel and unconventional "individuality", but rather becoming a complete, unique and harmonious individual with one's deep nature.
It implies integrating those suppressed and neglected parts within us and ultimately living as the "true self".
Here are 12 precious pieces of wisdom that Jung offers to those in the second half of their lives.
1、Courageously "remove" your social persona
"Persona" is the "professional suit" we wear to fit into society - good employees, good partners, good parents. In the first half of life, it helps us survive. But in the second half, if we cling to the mask too tightly, we will gradually drift away from our true selves. You will find that the moment you remove the mask, you don't know who you are.
The first step towards individuality is to have the courage to examine this mask, admit its limitations, and consciously remove it when it's safe, allowing your true feelings and thoughts to come through.
2、Make peace with your "shadow"
"Shadow" is the "other half" of our inner self that remains unseen - those desires, flaws and "dark sides" that we are reluctant to acknowledge and repress. The more we deny it, the more it will manipulate us in destructive ways (such as inexplicable anger, procrastination, addiction).
After middle age, we must have the courage to turn back and gaze upon our shadows. Acknowledging our selfishness, weakness and imperfection is not to indulge them, but to integrate them. A complete person is necessarily a combination of light and darkness.
3、Listen to your inner "opposite-sex archetype"
In the subconscious of every man, there exists a female archetype called "Anima"; and in the subconscious of every woman, there also exists a male archetype called "Animus".
During the first half of life, we often project this inner archetype onto our partners, expecting them to complete us. In the second half of life, the wisdom lies in withdrawing the projection and developing the qualities that belong to yourself.
Men need to develop their tenderness, sensibility and creativity; while women need to develop their rationality, logic and decisiveness. This will make your personality more balanced and complete.
4、Shift from "outward pursuit" to "inward exploration"
In the first half of life, energy radiates outward. We pursue fame, wealth, and status. At some point along this path, a bottleneck is inevitable because external achievements can never fill the inner void.
Jung reminds us that middle age is the turning point of life energy. Redirect some of the energy used for external competition back into the inner world. Explore your true passion and the meaning of your life through reading, meditation, artistic creation, or spending time in nature.
5、Re-examine your "midlife crisis", for it is an opportunity for transformation.
Many people view the midlife crisis as a symbol of troubles and decline. But for Jung, this is precisely the soul's invitation, inviting you to break free from the old patterns of your first half of life and live out a broader range of possibilities.
The places that make you feel painful and confused are precisely the places where you need to grow.
A crisis means that "danger" and "opportunity" coexist. It is the bugle call for the beginning of the "personalization" journey.
6、Embrace the opposition and contradiction, for that is the tension of life.
We always hope that the world is simple, harmonious, and black and white.
However, the core of Jungian psychology is "integration of opposites". Rationality and sensibility, extroversion and introversion, consciousness and subconsciousness, sacred and mundane... These seemingly contradictory forces together constitute a complete life.
The wisdom of the latter half of life is no longer to try to eliminate any one side, but to learn to maintain balance in this tension, just like a tightrope walker who moves forward in a dynamic balance.
7、Discover the "personal myth" that is uniquely yours.
Society has given us many collective stories (such as studying hard, working diligently, getting married and having children).
But in the second half of life, you need to find your own "personal myth" or life story.
It answers the ultimate question: "Why am I here? What is the unique meaning of my life?" This meaning may not be grand, it could be devoting oneself to a long-held passion, creating a work, or profoundly influencing another person.
8、Develop your "symbolic thinking"
After middle age, pure logic and rational analysis are no longer sufficient to nourish life.
You need to reconnect with your intuition, feelings and imagination. Pay more attention to your dreams. Jung believed that dreams are the bridge from the subconscious to the conscious. Increase your exposure to art, mythology and religion. They use symbolic language to tell the archetypal stories deep within the human soul, which can help you understand your deeper life impulses.
9、Accept the finiteness of life and contemplate "death"
Facing the topic of "death" is an unavoidable lesson for people in middle age.
Realizing the finiteness of life does not make us depressed; instead, it gives the "present" an unparalleled value. It forces us to think about what is truly important in the remaining time? Which things, if not done now, will never have a chance again?
The contemplation of death is the strongest catalyst for living a life with meaning.
10、Be vigilant against the influence of "collective unconsciousness"
We are deeply influenced by the times, culture and social trends, and this is what is called "collective unconsciousness".
For instance, "age anxiety" and "the trap of consumerism".
The process of individualization requires you to consciously "pull out" a bit from the collective current and examine those ideas that you take for granted with a critical eye. Ask yourself: "Is this belief truly my own? Or am I merely following the collective without thinking?"
11、Become your own "inner authority"
In the first half of life, our sources of authority were parents, teachers, bosses and societal standards.
In the second half of life, you need to shift the center of authority from the outside to the inside.
This means that you need to establish your own value system, trust your own judgment and feelings, and take full responsibility for your own life choices. When external evaluations and standards no longer easily shake you, you have found that solid "inner rock".
12、Serving something greater than the "ego"
True self-actualization does not involve indulging in one's own small world.
As the "personalization" process continues to deepen, you will find that you have connected with a broader life.
You will yearn to serve something beyond the interests of the "small self" - perhaps a community, a culture, a cause, or creating well-being for future generations. This "selfless" service is precisely the ultimate manifestation of the "greater self (Self)"'s completeness.
In the second half of life, it is no longer about competing with others, but about meeting ourselves. May we all be brave enough to embark on this heroic journey of inward exploration, and live out our unique, complete and abundant selves.