Life is divided into two parts: one part is determined by fate, and the other part is in one's own hands.
【We are always told that as long as we work hard enough, our lives will get better and better.But in reality, many people put in all their efforts, yet still can't reach the places they want to go.
In an era where the stories of "dominant female characters" and the myths of comeback success are repeatedly told， perhaps what is more worthy of discussion is the true relationship between effort， fate and ordinary life.
This article aims to talk about that overlooked middle ground.】
This journey of life is never a one-way trip.
It is more like a conversation - half of it is you striving your hardest to achieve something, and the other half, you must learn to accept.
Zhang Xiaohui was once widely known for marrying the popular Hong Kong singer Chung Zhen-tao.
She was also labeled as a "money worshipper" due to her extravagant lifestyle.
After going bankrupt, she made a remarkable comeback in the era of self-media, leveraging her solid literary skills and high sensitivity to aesthetics and fashion.
Her wealth rebounded and her identity was reshaped. Eventually, she lived up to the expectations of many people and became the "dominant female character" in their eyes.
This story of rebirth and renewal is both thrilling and highly attuned to contemporary aesthetics.
It provides countless women who are in a low point with an imaginative space: It turns out that life can truly be renewed.
【The ultimate power is rebirth through nirvana】
But that's precisely where the problem lies.
The story of the comeback is admirable, but it is not universal.
If Zhang Xiaohui represents only a small number of cases of successful comeback, then in real life, how many people are there who have worked hard all their lives but still haven't reached the "shore"?
So that sentence becomes particularly true:
Life is half destiny and the other half is what we can control.
In this world, the successful ones are always in the minority.
Just like the "20/80 rule" that is frequently mentioned in the stock market:
The ones who actually make money are only the 20%; the remaining 80% are just followers.
Life is the same.
Can you say that 80% of people don't work hard?
No.
Many people devote their entire lives to their endeavors, putting in all their efforts, but still end up with a mediocre outcome.
Hard work does not equal results. This is the true story of most people's lives.
One of my friends' story has given me a deeper understanding of "fate".
Back then, she accompanied her husband to study in the UK as a student companion.
At that time, it was her husband who was sent to pursue further studies, and his future was highly expected; while she was just a "traveling companion".
Later, the two returned to Beijing.
Her husband entered a foreign-funded enterprise and became the general manager, but his career development was mediocre and he changed companies several times before eventually quitting.
While she rose to a senior position in another company and later started her own business, achieving great success.
Her husband later came to her company to help, but due to long-term psychological imbalance, they ended up not getting along.
Later, he simply chose to stay at home to take care of the children and led a "passive" life.
This incident lingered in my mind for a long time.
In terms of education, starting point, and past opportunities, he was no less than his wife.
Can you say he wasn't working hard?
No.
Back then, it was he who was selected to go to the UK for further studies, while she was just a student companion.
But life is like this -
Hard work is just a ticket, not an assurance.
"Making the best of what you can control and accepting what is beyond your control - this is the most sensible way for adults to handle themselves."
So, as you progress along the journey of life, you will eventually realize that:
The things you can actually do are rather limited.
You can strive, you can choose, you can bear,but the outcome may not be determined by you.
This is why that old saying remains relevant to this day:
Do your best, and let fate take its course.
Life is never like this -
Just by putting in enough effort, you will definitely achieve the desired outcome.
Often, what truly needs to be cultivated is not "working harder", but the ability to avoid being negatively affected by the outcome.
Life is a form of cultivation, not a gamble.
Lu Yu （Famous female hostess）said something that left a deep impression on me:
Life has various possibilities, not just one that becomes the standard.
At present, the image of an independent, rational and career-oriented "dominant female character" does indeed better suit the aesthetic standards of this era.
But this does not mean that: Other lifestyles are necessarily failures.
Behind every kind of life, there are unknown costs.
Everyone has their own hardships, and also their own joys.
There is no such thing as a single correct answer for any kind of life.
A truly great era is one that allows different people to exist in different ways.
The balance point of life lies between effort and letting things take their natural course.
Throughout our journey, we have been constantly pursuing and persistently fighting,
yearning for a better life and more certain rewards.
But as you keep walking, the distance becomes longer and longer, and you will come to understand:
There are certain things that cannot be fought for.
Half of life requires hard work, while the other half can only be resigned to fate's arrangement.
Not responding, not clinging to answers,
In many moments, learning to go with the flow is itself a sign of maturity.
The meaning of life lies not in blind pursuit, nor in complete abandonment,
but in finding a balance between striving and letting go.
When it's time to act, don't back down;
When it's time to let go, don't linger.
【Life may not always be perfect, but we can choose to face it with a non-complaining, non-avoiding, and non-participating attitude. --click here👉 The highest-level mindset of adults】
The "dominant female character" is not the standard solution. Happiness is.
Zhang Xiaohui once said a very candid sentence:
Go early and come back early.
Once you get into a marriage and experience it, if things go wrong, then come out early and continue to live a good life in the future.
Lu Yu pressed her further:
"Is it necessary for you to come out?"
She replied:
"No, you're doing well, so you don't have to come out."
This sentence actually exposes many obsessions.
If you don't need to play the role of the "dominant female character",why not choose to be a little girl who is cherished, loved, and has a stable life?Isn't that also a kind of happiness?
If I am fortunate enough to become that "little girl", why should I pursue the "dominant female character"?
Conclusion: the end of life is never about comparison.
Whether it's a young girl or a powerful heroine,
the ultimate goal is to lead a wonderful life.
However -
- Some people are lucky and easily achieve it;
- Some have to go a long way to barely reach it;
- And some, no matter how hard they try, never reach the expected outcome.
All of these are given to us by life.
And what we can do is simply accept the outcome calmly, and face gains and losses with composure.
This, perhaps, is the true strength of adults.
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